In Other News... Making All Other Moms Look Bad

Recently, I came across this article about an amazing New York mom, who happens to be an incredible artist and, seriously, the coolest geek-chic lady around. She draws incredible things on her kids' lunch napkins, making the rest of us simpleton mothers look like the ham-handed non-artistic buffoons we are.  Enjoy. A-Maze-Ing. I feel like the scribbled "Love you, buddy" in my kids' lunches in the early years of elementary school are wholly inadequate by comparison. 

This mom? She's a Gold Medal Mom. Awesome. 

My favorite one of those shown on KSL: 

My Essay on Abortion

When I was in high school, and abortion was still a relatively newly public topic (Roe vs. Wade was in 1973 and only 15 years later I was in high school), we had to write an essay on something we felt strongly about. When I was just a little younger, I remember learning what abortion is and being shocked-- stunned, that anyone would want to end the life of a baby, regardless of the circumstances. To learn that this was perfectly legal, that the baby was being called only a "fetus" and "tissue" did nothing to assuage my horror. So, when I wrote my essay, my junior year, I wrote about what I consider to be an evil in our society: abortion.

Parenting Ideas: Don't Leave

Okay. This is pretty simple. Have kids? Stick around. Don't move away, don't abandon them, don't decide your life would be better without them. Kids can't choose to leave. Kids can't choose whether you're their parents or not.

So love them. 

from www.goodenoughmother.com

Stick around, and love them. Don't stick around and beat them or dominate them or manipulate them or use them to get attention. 

It's not all about you.

No, seriously. It's not even very much about you. Parenting is about your responsibilities, your joy in making your children laugh, your honoring the obligation to teach them about good behavior, manners, doing their part, owning their mistakes, and hard work. Parenting is about being there. 

This post comes from a very personal place, if you can't tell. My mother did not live up to her obligations. She chose selfishness; leaving her seven children with their dad (thank you, for that, though, as he is SUPERMAN). That's the very short version of the story, of course. But it should suffice.

Pinterest FAIL FAIL FAIL: Dishwasher Detergent

I loved this blogger's homemade laundry soap, so I went into making the dishwasher detergent with high hopes. I am so, so, SO very disappointed.

I followed the recipe, and as recommended, I used citric acid instead of kool-aid, because I didn't want to dye my dishwasher yellow. And I use vinegar with every load in my dishwasher (hard water!!) already, so I figured that would be good enough, rather than paying more money for Lemi-Shine.

But regardless of how much vinegar I use, my dishes have been coming out with a thin film on them. I reduced the amount of soap from a full, rounded Tablespoon to slightly less than a TB, and the dishes didn't even come out clean. And there was still a film on them. Ugh.

I'm not happy. I really hate wasting things. Even if it's under $20 of ingredients, it's still wasteful. Boo.

I think I will add the rest of the bottle of citric acid to the soap and see if that helps. Maybe I didn't put enough in to begin with. But... I doubt it will make a difference at this point. If not, I'm done. Back to store-bought soap for me. 

Lame!

Parenting Stuff Idea 3- Let Your Kids Do Hard Stuff

Safe Routes Partnership

It occurred to me this week at a piano recital that we parents frequently try to rescue our kids from difficult things. Not only big difficult things, like that science fair project you stay up all night with, but little things such as sitting through the entire concert, instead of taking them home early. My son was playing in a recital on Friday night and he was third of 15 or so performers. My daughter, itching to get home and call her friends, asked me a few times if we could just leave after he played. I toyed with the idea, because I wouldn't have minded getting home earlier, too, but as I thought it over, I decided it would be good for her to hear some new piano pieces, and to support her fellow students, and even though it might be hard, she's not a toddler anymore, and it would be good for her to sit still for an hour and behave.

I know, for some of you a decision like that would have been a no-brainer, but it wasn't for me. Depending on the venue and the event, we've been known to sneak out before the end of things in the past-- we are very busy and sometimes have multiple events scheduled at once, so it has happened. Also, it's not an unreasonable request. It was a recital, not a concert, and it was very casual, but staying through the performances was the classy thing to do, regardless. So I'm glad we stayed.

This did get me thinking about other difficult things we don't allow our children to do, because they whine at us or talk us into letting them off the hook. Maybe before doing our kids' homework for them or making that phone call for them, or whatever the "hard" thing is, we should stop ourselves and think. Is it their responsibility? Will they learn something valuable from this? (My daughter, hopefully, learned a little bit about being a good audience member, respecting her fellow performers, and a standard of expectation when attending a concert). Will it benefit them now or in the future if they push through the difficult stuff to accomplish this for themselves? 

I tried and couldn't come up with any examples of when it would benefit our children more to have the hard stuff done for them, than to do it themselves, except situations that would put them in danger if adult help wasn't there. Seriously. It's good for us to do difficult things.

For example, I was telling my daughter the other day that I never once got a ride to elementary school. It didn't matter that for a few years I carried a violin case almost as long as I was tall (I was a shortie), and the weather wasn't a factor. My parents simply didn't have an extra car, nor the inclination to drive us to school. It wasn't a big deal. We didn't melt in the rain or become kid-sicles in the snow. In fact, it was kind of fun and good for our health to walk in all weather, I believe. I have made my kids walk or ride bikes on and off, though not as much as I probably should. I confess, I drive my daughter, because she's the last child in elementary school, and her safety trumps all effort at helping her learn life lessons.

I also walked every day of junior high, and when I was halfway through with High School, my family moved and I didn't want to switch schools, so I rode the city bus every day. This required me to get up at 5:30, or so, every morning, get ready and be out the door by 6:30 to catch a 7:00 bus, a half-hour walk away, and ride it for 30 or so minutes to my school. I never had a car. I had no one I could car pool with, so I did what I had to do. 

Now, I don't tell that to toot my own horn, but to illustrate that doing tough things makes us stronger. I really believe that I was ready to go out into the world and get a job at 16 and to go on to college and adult life alone, in large part because I learned independence and physical stamina (really, it was a long walk to the bus stop) from this experience. And I learned that I could do anything I put my mind to.

If you don't allow your child to do hard things, there is a fair-to-sure chance they will reach adulthood and have learned an underlying message that they "can't" do hard things; that someone has to help them; that they need to be rescued. Trust me, we don't want adult children who can't take care of themselves. 

I'm going to be more conscious of this as we go through the next couple of weeks. I'm grateful I had that experience at the piano recital, so I would realize I might be letting my kids off too easily.

Parenting Stuff Idea 2: Rules

Idea 2: Rules

from: BBC.co.uk

Parenting involves a lot of rules and limit-setting. It is necessary to have limits and guidelines for the children in your stewardship. Even God has rules, so naturally we parents of little mortals better have some. This can be extremely painful for you and your kids, or it can be loving and reasonable.

Parenting Stuff, Idea 1: Relationships

Idea 1: Relationships are the most important thing.

Photo courtesy: CrystalHollenbeck.com

If you believe in the afterlife, and I do, then I assume you believe you will have loved ones around you there. Therefore, all you take with you when you die are your experiences, your memories and your relationships. Relationships are based on love, so start there. Love your children.